The Dos and Donts of Interracial Dating

The author offers her perspective on dating non-Black men in this revisited May 2014 article as one who likes all men of all stripes

I will be A ebony girl whom dates the “rainbow.” I was involved with in the past 10 years into one room (that group includes random dates, relationships, situationships and that one time I got married), youd have a fabulous, multihued bouquet of masculine beauty if you put every guy. A sort, smart guy who moves me personally, could possibly rock with me, no matter competition or ethnicity. Im not on that absurd color-blind train; Im simply an equal-opportunity dater.

Almost all my Ebony girlfriends solely and purposely date Ebony males, and so I have lots of questions regarding my UN-friendly roster that is dating nearly all of those questions are about the white dudes. “Is it pink?” “Are you sure its not some jungle fever type thing?” “Has he seen Love Jones?” The responses to those questions varies according to the guy—could be tan, red or some combination. Only once ended up being it a fetish thing on the inventors end, and I also deaded that the moment I happened to be aware. Seeing movies that are specific maybe not just a dating requirement of me. You better know and love Stevie Wonder, however. Thats life immediately.

Then there’s two troubling statements that I frequently hear. The very first is, “Im so tired of these black colored men. In a few minutes, Im going to end up like both you and find a White child.” Ugh.

We find this become problematic because everything about any of it is incorrect. You shouldn’t date some body of the race that is certain you’re feeling exhausted because of the antics of males of some other race. their not reasonable into the Black woman, the White dude or Black men. There are many good Ebony men around. The real deal. Men in my own family members, my group of buddies and previous loves attest to that. For any number of other reasons if youre running into Black dudes who are not worth a quarter, their behavior is not some genetic issue related to their ethnic background, they just arent the guys for you.

The White guy gets the brief end for the stick for the reason that situation, too, because hes a sucka-ass plan B and doesnt even understand it. The Ebony girl loses because shes maybe perhaps not handling the issues that are real donate to her dating dilemmas.

One other unpleasant statement I have from my Black girlfriends regarding dating White dudes is, “Youre the sort of Black woman White dudes like. White men arent interested in me personally.” Chile, stop it. When there is a very important factor i understand about heterosexual males, it is aside from their preferences that are physical at the finish of the time they simply like women. Ive seen White dudes with a variety that is wide of ladies.

I will be a slim, Harlem-residing, Detroit-born, masters degree-having 34-year-old divorced Ebony girl whose passport is on pimpin. Whenever buddies say Im the “type” White guys like, they’ve been mostly talking about my frame that is small and breadth of travel. Nevertheless, I’m not A white boy whisperer. You’ll find nothing me a “safe” Black chick for White guys to holler at about me that makes. The truth is that i’ve a tremendously active social life in a varied city, and I frequently find myself in spaces filled up with guys of numerous racial, ethnic and nationality backgrounds. My dating roster reflects those social encounters.

Nearly all of my girlfriends whom speak about being tired of Black dudes, aren’t being totally severe. They arent going to abandon black colored men (I havent, either). They’ve been simply considering dipping their toes into something new. But extending into interracial relationship territory isn’t something to complete as an “I hate you a great deal appropriate now” sort of performance art test toward Ebony men. Also, regardless of the insane and extremely wrong chatter that just black colored men are drawn to Ebony women, attention from non-Black males isn’t some type of additional validation of A ebony womans beauty.

Black colored women can be stunning, duration.

Having said that, interracial relationships arent for everyone, and thats fine. I date interracially, hook up apps better than pof but Im perhaps not spreading the gospel of United Colors of Benetton dating. Accomplish that if it fits you. Dont take action if youre not inclined to. Simple. Theres nothing incorrect with Ebony females sticking with Ebony guys or vice versa. You need to be clear with who you really are and exactly why you would like whom you want.